Think about this.
My wife, Jenny, reminded me the other day that she had a professor at college that would say, “Inspect with you expect.” In other words, if you have set an expectation, make sure that you close the loop by having a way to keep an eye on it, report on it, and talk about it, so that it is top of mind. If you don’t check back in, it must not be that important.
Without inspection, your expectation is really just a wish.
You may be a chronic over-committer like me. I learned something that radically altered my over-committing.
The biggest challenges are when someone asks you to do something. You’re agreeable, and doggone likeable, so you want to reply with an immediate, “yes.” But, later you probably wish you hadn’t.
Next time, just create a space to think by using a statement that buys you some time, and allows you to choose your obligations. Just say, “That sounds really interesting. Before I can commit, though, let me check my schedule, and get back with you.”
Now, you’ve got a chance to align your schedule with your priorities before you commit.
I love reading history, and this morning, I was reading a collection of speeches by the eminent American historian, David McCullough. He said that it is easy to forget that individuals made choices and decisions in the present not really knowing how things would turn out. We tend to think of them in the context of the past. It’s too easy to forget that things didn’t have to turn out the way they did.
That impacts my choices for today. My responsibility is to step up to any challenge and recognize that it is all I can control.
You know that feeling you get that you’re missing something? Or the envy of some successful person who appears to be having a wonderful time and apparently has a fantastic family, a powerful career, the adoration of millions, enough money to last a lifetime, and the smile to prove it?
Yeah, I know that feeling. I wrestle with envy an awful lot.
It’s easy to think that someone else has it all together. It’s also easy to think that you can be amazing at everything. You simply can’t. So, choose your priority, and allow other interests to fall in place below it.
Oh, and read this book.
In the book, The One Thing, Gary Keller made a point that was worth the entire book to me. He mentioned that the word priority didn’t become pluralized until the last century. My guess is because we wanted to lie to ourselves that we could focus on more than one thing. That’s the opposite of focus.
Priority by definition can only be one thing.
So, the next time you list your top 3 priorities, just stop, and choose one. That’s your priority.
The next time someone asks you if you did something, and you reply, “I didn’t have time,” try this instead: “I prioritized other things instead.”
Because that’s the truth. We all have the same amount of time, and we all make priority choices constantly.
That’s not a bad thing, but let’s be honest and take ownership of our time. You have plenty of time to do the things you deem important.
Maybe I’ve corrupted the good ol’ Puritan work ethic, but it seems like when I’m working hard I feel useful, and when I’m resting I feel lazy.
But the more I learn about how our bodies and mind work, the more I’m convinced that appropriate rest and downtime are far more important than I ever imagined.
So, I’m trying to embrace sleep, and plenty of it. I’m trying to accept sitting still, being calm, and sometimes even being bored.
You are on news overload.
The truth is that you don’t need to know everything that is going on. The media/internet/socialworld all thrive on getting eyeballs on their stuff, so just because they’re talking about it doesn’t mean it’s important.
Choose when and where you consume your news. Do it on your terms.
When you hear a piece of news, ask:
“You own the phone. It doesn’t own you.” Ed Young, Jr.
Technology has made it easy to be always connected and always available. That’s too big of a burden for anyone to carry.
Just because your phone rings does not mean you must answer it. It’s your choice.
Just to prove to yourself and your phone that you own it, try a couple of things:
What do you do to prove that you own the phone?
Record your next presentation, and see how many of these you use. You’ll be flummoxed, shocked, stymied, and simply agog.
Trust me. None of those words improve your communication.